Rec Off
| Thursday 29 March, 2007 |
 Blah blah blah bollocks... |
'Yes - you! Stop grinning at me you smug little shit.'
Guilty as charged, Comrades.
The reason for such radicalism is of course the imminent three month closure of Brixton Rec. No consultation with the users, a third-party sub-contractor deal that is even less watertight than the leaking pool, plus a 23% price increase, just so that we can have the pleasure of staring up at some plasma screen bollocks whilst bemoaning the fact that none of the machines in the gym actually work.
One item dominated the agenda at the monthly Brixton Area Forum, and it wasn't the threatened SW8 uprising after learning earlier in the evening that my re-cycling day is about to change from Tuesdays to Thursdays.
Brixton Rec is at the heart of the community. I realised this after locking up Mr Wilson of Peckham shortly after 7pm; a fencing class for kids was taking place in the lower sports hall, a support group for young mothers was making its way upstairs, along with the unicycle hockey players heading for their weekly one-wheeled fix.
Sport For All, etc, plus many more weird and wonderful activities all under one leaking roof.
This is set to disappear as of Friday for 'three months.' This is the time period that the Lambeth Council knobbers have set aside to refurbish the Rec (again,) combined with convincing the new sub-contractors they haven't made an almighty cock up in working with a local authority whose failure in leisure provision is on par with its record on Rotten Borough appearances in Private Eye.
Is the refurbishment a smokescreen to try and sort out the muddled and murky world of privatisation of a public service? I have plenty of civic pride, but little faith in my elected civil servants.
Yes - you! You smug little shit, etc...
And so after leaving Mr Wilson locked up at my spiritual SW9 home, I arrived early for once outside the Town Hall and took my place on the steps with the rest of the Brixton Rec Users campaigning for Free Badminton For All.
A few rallying cries outside ('Don't close the Rec! Consultation not closure! Piss poor management of the kiddie piss pool!') and then it was time for the Forum to begin.
I was sitting in the very same hall where some four years previously Lambeth Council had promised a 'quick and smooth transition' of the handover of Brockwell Lido to a third party sub-contractor.' Self-styled 'leisure lifestyle' knobbers Fusion may just get round to getting their hands on our filthy lucre for the first time late summer.
Being a free for all forum, anyone within shouting distance of Brixton tube is given a voice to speak. Given that Brixton boasts some of the loudest voices in London, that's an awful lot of points of view to be put across.
Brixton Green (stop sniggering) was given an unexpected captive audience, campaigning to regenerate Brixton environmentally by using local businesses as the infrastructure for change.
A fine speech by some local business type, and then the Man With A Suit (yes - you! Smug little shit etc...) gave the professional (barely) politicians spin about how Lambeth is 'tackling climate change, putting your own house in order first blah blah blah bollocks.'
So said the Man With a Suit running a council that allows nuclear waste to be transported through the town centre at 11am every fucking morning.
Questions were invited from the floor, and we had another bloody brilliant barmy Brixton moment when some Old Boy rather eloquently enquired what Brixton Green planned to do to revive the old sport of wrestling in SW9.
I FUCKING LOVE LVING IN BRIXTON (ish)
The bare-faced cheek of the Man With a Suit as he spoke more bollocks about 'building upon sports provision.'
And so with the wrestling sideshow beaten into submission, it was time for the main event, grapple fans:
The BRU raggle taggle bunch of fitness freaks, wall climbers and University of Dub tokers taking on the Lambeth Council knobbers. Three submissions or a knock out, tag team tactics allowed and how dare you suggest that the bout is already fixed with the Lambeth Council knobbers not giving a flying fuck about consultation as the investment from Greenwich Leisure will bail the smug little shits out of a financial black hole?
Let's get ready to rumble!
The un-named architects 'presented' their back of a fag packet plans in the foyer at the Town Hall. It all looked lovely - some pink squares here, an adjacent green blob and some pot plants to fill out the corners.
But wait - what's this? Where's the bloody swimming pool?
As absent as any information regarding the closure of the Rec coming from the Council.
But first off we had to suffer the spin from Councilor Lib Peck, the Cabinet Member for Environment and Culture. The Rec IS my environment and the University of Dub is my cultural upbringing. She had my attention, if not my trust.
Secrecy clauses, apologies for lack of information and once again the professional political spin of new and improved discount cards, all added to disguise the 23.5% overall price increase.
You break our legs, and we say thank you when you give us crutches.
But not in Brixton, Lib.
The open mic was handed over to the floor and a sea of hands was raised, making me wonder if the question 'put your hand up if you think the Lambeth Council knobbers can't be trusted' was being asked.
The justification of 'bringing prices in line with the rest of London' was ripped apart. Brixton is very different to Kensington & Chelsea, plus the piss take Council Tax rates that we pay are supposed to include provision for leisure.
A wonderful speech from a young Muslim worshipper who uses the Rec for Friday morning prayers left Councilor Lib with no response. The Brixton Mosque has yet to receive any notification of the closure of their weekly place of worship. Plus one of the few details in the plans that are identifiable is that the previously separate Men and Women's saunas are now to be mixed. Not ideal for some users with religious beliefs.
Wise words from the University of Dub, who reminded the Man With the Suit that:
'You are on the pay roll of Mr Blair. Mr Blair is an evil man. You will have another riot on your hands if we can't rave until five in the morning every Friday night.'
I FUCKING LOVE BRIXTON.
And now for something completely different...
The Brixton Climbing Club presented the Man With a Suit the 500 membership applications from users wanting to use the only climbing wall in South London. The climbing wall is also absent from the back of a fag packet architectural plans.
So many questions, so little answers. It was a fine way to spend three hours on a Wednesday evening, but I left Lambeth Town Hall with even less confidence in my local elected representatives, and genuine fear for the future of the Rec.
I walked back to the Rec to be re-united with Mr Wilson. With the shutters to the Rec closing, the fencing kids had by now been replaced along Piss Alley with the fucked up junkies. Close the Rec for three months and this will become a familiar scene.
